July 29th – August 1st, 2016

STRANGE SHORE: Prague

SUNDRY LAND: The Czech Republic

WANDERING WAY: My Paradisiacal Prague AirBnB

Before mapping out my charmed wanderings around the ever-more-magical city of Prague in the next installment of “Strange and Sundry”, I’d like to address my prior claim about the “paradisiacal” and “lofty” condition of my AirBnB in response to an inquiry by my beautiful yet dubious sister Denise. Here is a brief tour of its vaulted ceilings,

its kitchen,

its library,

its entryway,

and its view:

Lovely, isn’t it?

Okay, ha! In fact, those are pictures of Vladislav Hall at Prague Castle (with an interpolated view from the Most Legií), which the Czech aren’t yet renting out as an AirBnB since it’s still used for government ceremonies whenever it’s not being appropriated as a tourist holding pen. However! Just so you don’t go doubting my word again, here are the real-life photographs of my AirBnB.

While I’ll admit that ceiling might more accurately described with the term “rafter” rather than “vault,” I would argue that my relatively humble address is more paradisiacal than Vladislav Hall due to its privacy and quietude. My airy, light-filled quarters are located at Nový Svět 191/6, which the Lonely Planet guidebook (for example) describes as a “peaceful medieval backstreet” – for more information on the little street where I live, I’d direct you to this account by “Spotted by Locals”: http://www.spottedbylocals.com/prague/novy-svet/ . Also, Tycho Brahe lived here, and that old wall is Roman – awesome.

Another reason my AirBnB is particularly paradisiacal is my third story bedroom window with its view – see here: 

 Since there isn’t a peep all evening anywhere in the environs of this red-roofed medieval enclave, I can open the windows to let in soft summer breezes all through the night. I haven’t been able to keep open my bedroom window since I moved from Ohio at the age of fourteen, but this Czech neighborhood boasts a singular advantage over anywhere in the United States. If you’ll look closely, you’ll notice that there aren’t any screens on the windows. The Americans among my readership will probably be startled! What about mosquitoes?! Is she crazy? Does she want to be eaten alive?!?

Well, folks: Here’s the thing about Europe – no mosquitoes.

That’s right. In all my time in Europe, I have never received a mosquito bite. Perhaps the European genus turns up its collective nose at American blood, but I’m guessing that the little suckers just aren’t infesting the land. In a month and a half – not one bite. As someone who's allergic to mosquito bites and would typically be suffering from thirty itchy welts the approximate size of beer coasters (true) by this point of the summer, the absence of mosquitos is notable – even, yes, paradisiacal.

Since mosquitoes flock to my overly tender flesh, I've been following the spread of the Zika Virus quite closely. It’s a horrible virus, but it’s hardly surprising that mosquitoes are now causing birth defects in humans – it has the ring of inevitability considering mosquitoes are the most nefarious creatures on earth. My only surprise is that cockroaches haven't yet acquired linguistic ability – it's only a matter of time before the chitters and clicks turn out be Morse Code – and it's a shock that bedbugs haven't inaugurated the next worldwide plague. If you can’t tell, I hate bugs.

So to be free of mosquitoes? Me? No mosquito bites for the entire month of July? Freedom from summertime mosquitoes is indeed a prelapsarian boon. In past summers, I’ve put on a brave face as my skin swells with poison, but I loathe mosquitoes. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. So yes, Prague, by comparison, is paradise.

So why might Prague be more paradisiacal than the other locales on my journey thus far, namely Scotland, England or Ireland? A few days ago, I realized that my cheeks and forehead were feeling the tiniest bit warm at lunch. I couldn’t figure it out for a moment: I hadn't had a drink (yet); I hadn't climbed an unusually steep hill; why were my cheeks red? Hmmm... Oh yes! The sun! After a month in the cloudy, chilly UK and Ireland, I'd actually gotten some sun in one of Prague's perfect 75-80 degree days as beams shone through poofy cumulus clouds that swept the cobalt sky. Ah yes, the sun.

Finally, here is the last reason that my AirBnB is paradisiacal. Please note this café where tour guides frequently pause to note its historical importance – I can never figure out what the guides are saying in German, Russian, and Japanese, but it does seem to be terribly important since they all stop to speak at length:

Well, my landlady owns this café, where I’m given FREE fresh, homemade apple strudel every morning with FREE fresh coffee too boot – no questions asked. You might be thinking, “Well, gosh. What’s she paying for this AirBnB?” Let’s not speak in crass numbers, but suffice to say that this is the cheapest domicile of any place that I’ll be staying for my entire trip. In short, paradisiacal. This is how Adam and Eve lived – perfect weather in the mid-seventies, light summer breezes, lofty ceilings, no mosquitoes, cheap rent, and complimentary apple strudel. Ha.